So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I woke up under a house in Key West
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