i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
