oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
