Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I just forgot I was standing up.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
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