If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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