well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
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Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
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he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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