tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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