she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
