can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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