Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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