Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
