Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Randomize
