I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
