i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
