Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
we're so committed to being not committed
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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