You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
