I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
