Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
