Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
