I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
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