do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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