Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
