During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize