Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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