dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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