I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
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My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
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FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize