Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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