porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
