well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
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We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
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He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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