I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
