There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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