It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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