billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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