we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
