Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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