Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
