she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
In America we eat man semen.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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