I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
