I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
