if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
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She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
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well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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