Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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