How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
