There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
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