I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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