I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Randomize
