I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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