yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
