OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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