We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
