Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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