so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
