she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
