Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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