We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize