ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
