you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
