porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
