dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
