i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
