my room smells like sperm. sweet.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
