dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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