i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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