Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
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