she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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