Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
