Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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